73 Responses

  1. Shrinidhi at | | Reply

    I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed! ;)

  2. Deepthi at | | Reply

    Girl to Boy- “Why do you wear specs only when I come in”?
    Boy replied- “The Doctor advised me to wear specs only when I get a headache “:)

  3. Devi at | | Reply

    Where is the eye located?
    -between the H and the J.

  4. reshma at | | Reply

    A short Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver’s license.

    First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

    The optician showed him a card with the letters. On the bottom row were these letters: ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’

    ‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked.

    ‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied – ‘I know the fellow.’

  5. Shalini As at | | Reply

    What was the len’s excuse to the policeman?

    I’ve been framed, officer!!

    lOL,
    Shalini

  6. Rashmi Bhat at | | Reply

    What did the sailor say to the captain of the optom (optometric) boat?
    -eye-eye captain

  7. Niharika Naidu at | | Reply

    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

    Because breasts don’t have eyes :P :P

  8. Tehi at | | Reply

    A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.
    The optician showed him a card with the letters: ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’
    ‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked.
    ‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied – ‘I know the fellow.’

  9. Vi at | | Reply

    What did the blind hip hop star crave?

    Eyes Eyes Baby!

  10. Shruti at | | Reply

    Optician: You need glasses.

    Patient: But I’m wearing glasses.

    Optician: Then I need glasses.

  11. poojan dave at | | Reply

    wat did one eye wear tell to the other? : eye for an eye :p

  12. Swati R. Sehrawat at | | Reply

    What was the lens’s excuse to the policeman?
    I have been framed officer :D

  13. vk at | | Reply

    What did the sailor say to the captain of the optom boat?
    Eye-eye captain

  14. Sonal at | | Reply

    What did the left and the right eye agree on?
    –Something between us smells!!

  15. monika at | | Reply

    What was the lens’s excuse to the policeman?
    -I’ve been framed officer

    Liked on facebook & following on Twitter

  16. Ankita Patel at | | Reply

    A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, “Doctor, will I be able to read after
    wearing glasses?”
    “Yes, of course,” said the doctor, “why not!”
    “Oh! How nice it would be,” said the patient with joy, “I have been illiterate for so long.”

  17. Ankita Patel at | | Reply

    “Doctor, doctor! I need glasses!”
    “You certainly do, ma’am. This is a barber shop.”

  18. Prisca Pires at | | Reply

    Good eyesight
    “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him steal the goods.”
    The lawyer asked Sam again, “Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?”
    “Yes” said Sam, “I saw him do it.”
    Then the lawyer said, “Sam, listen, you are 75 years old and your eyesight is probably pretty bad. Just how far can you see at night?”
    Sam quickly replied, “I can see the moon, how far is that?”

  19. Geetanjali sharma at | | Reply

    What do you say to a spy when you spot one?
    Eye spy

  20. Shweta at | | Reply

    HHC: Are you feeling the pressure to make a great joke here?
    Me: Yes, eye am!

  21. aritra at | | Reply

    Ram had lived a long life, which was drawing to its end. As his family surrounded him on his deathbed, he asked to see his optometrist.

    “Optometrist?” they asked. “Why in the world do you want to see your optometrist?”

    “Just get him for me.”

    So they go get Dr. Kriplani, who, on seeing Ram about to depart this life, asked, “Ram, it pains me to see you like this. What can I possibly do for you?”

    Ram opened his eyes slightly and said, “Doc, before I go, there’s one thing I have to know. Which one was clearer – A or B?”

  22. Nikhila at | | Reply

    What do you call a potato with glasses?
    A SPEC-tator! :D

  23. Komal at | | Reply

    What did the mummy contact lens say to the naughty child contact lens?
    – I’ve had enough, go and sit in the cornea!

    Hope you liked it.
    Liked their facebook page and followed on twitter too.

  24. Aastha Gupta at | | Reply

    What did the right eye say to the left eye?
    Between you and me, there’s something that smells! ;)

  25. Neha Borkar at | | Reply

    Why did a nerd raised his glasses in a party?
    Because, the host said, “let’s raise the glasses to celebrate the success.”

  26. Ragavi R at | | Reply

    Someone tweeted this gem recently :D

    “I’m returning the glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.”

  27. manish verma at | | Reply

    John went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and was prescribed glasses. He asked the doctor if these will I be able to read the newspaper after wearing glasses?”

    “Yes, of course,” said the doctor, “why not!”

    “Oh! How nice it would be,” said the John with joy, “I have been illiterate all my life so far.”

  28. Sarika Nagdeo at | | Reply

    Did you hear the one about the optician who fell into the lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself.:p

  29. Sukhada Chaudhary at | | Reply

    How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    ( I don’t know)
    You tell me.. is it one or two?

  30. Apekshita at | | Reply

    Liked the Facebook page;
    Followed on Twitter;
    now the joke that cracked me up – –
    “What did the mummy contact lens say to the naughty child contact lens??
    – I’ve had enough, go and sit in the cornea.!” :D :D
    (looks funnier when you imagine naughty little contact lenses going haywire) ;)
    PS lusting over the orange/coral frame ;)

  31. Reet Virk at | | Reply

    A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, “Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?”

    “Yes, of course,” said the doctor, “why not!”

    “Oh! How nice it would be,” said the patient with joy, “I have been illiterate for so long.”

  32. Rutuja at | | Reply

    After being teased for ages for wearing specs, here is something from my side (without offending anyone!)

    What was the lens’s excuse to the policeman?
    -I’ve been framed officer!!!

  33. Kusha Kapila at | | Reply

    Knock, Knock?

    Who’s there?

    Eye

    Eye who?

    Eye don’t know who you are but i will find you and I will kill you.

  34. Beatrix at | | Reply

    Q:What do you do when you see a ghost?
    A: Eye scream!

  35. Beatrix at | | Reply

    Q:What do you do when you see a one-eyed ghost?
    A: Eye scream!

  36. khushi at | | Reply

    I heard this funny one liner from my dad once (cracked me up because my mom was right there)
    “If love is blind, then marriage is a real Eye-opener”

    One more:
    Your mom has such thick glasses that when she looks at map, she can see people waving :p

    Liked on Facebook n followed on Twitter :)

  37. Akshatha at | | Reply

    A Czech goes to the optician who shows him a eye examination card with the letters

    C Z W X N Q S T A C Z

    “Can you read this?” the optician asks.

    “Read it?” the Czech replies, “I even know the guy.”

  38. Ishita Bhojwani at | | Reply

    “Doctor doctor!!! I need glasses.”
    “Of course ma’am, this is a barber shop”

  39. Ashima Suri at | | Reply

    Why did the little boys mother get angry with his spectacles?
    Because they were covering his Aai (eye) :P

  40. Ashima Suri at | | Reply

    Why did the little boys’ mother get angry with his spectacles?
    Because they were covering his Aai (eye) :P

  41. Megha at | | Reply

    Looking on the bright side hurts my eyes.

  42. Vrinda Bahety at | | Reply

    One of the best giveaway winning techniques I came across on HHC. Would love to grab a pair of these beauties. Here’s my witty line for the sexy-eyed :
    I’m so SPECTACULAR. My future’s so bright , I gotta wear shades. B)

    Cheers ! :)

  43. Namrata at | | Reply

    Q. What was the lens’s excuse to the policeman?
    -I’ve been framed officer :D

    Q. What music do optoms listen to?
    -itunes

  44. Jasmine at | | Reply

    How would I ask you to ID Sonam’s glasses? Eye-kaun? :P

  45. Sj Dc at | | Reply

    Can eyebrows your computer?

  46. Paromita Chakraborty at | | Reply

    Yo mamma’s glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map she sees people waving!

    The rest, done!

  47. Vidhu M at | | Reply

    Santa: I lost my contact lens!!!
    Banta: Serves you right! I told you to keep an eye on them!!

  48. Ravneet Sachdeva at | | Reply

    The blind carpenter picked up his hammer and saw ;-)

  49. summi at | | Reply

    What was the lens’s excuse to the policeman?
    -I’ve been framed officer!

  50. Shevanjlee aneja at | | Reply

    Patient: I am seeing spots before my eyes.
    Optometrist: Didn’t the new glasses help?
    Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.

    This giveaway is very interesting!

  51. shweta at | | Reply

    mom : at eye appt i’ll call later
    daughter : eye see
    mom: u still got it
    daughter : what can i say i’m your star pupil
    mom: fold your wash star
    daughter : iris i dint have to
    mom : stooooooooooooop
    daughter : sorry my jokes keep getting Cornea :P

    done ! liked n followed

  52. sneha at | | Reply

    if u have one eye on yesterday and one eye on tomorrow,your going to be cockeyed today :D

  53. Vyjayanthi Iyer at | | Reply

    Can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus ;)

  54. Neha Kulkarni at | | Reply

    And again and again, poor Medusa has to find herself a new optometrist.. :P :P

  55. ekta vaswani at | | Reply

    TV mechanic to man:-“The problem isn’t your high definition television,it’s your low definition eyes.”

  56. neelam garg at | | Reply

    ans . What did the sailor say to the captain of the optom boat…?

    Following you on Fb and Twiiter too with @aasmaankipari :)

  57. Seema at | | Reply

    What did the sailor say to the captain of the boat?
    -eye-eye captain.

    following on FB

  58. Mahalgolden at | | Reply

    1. While doing surgery the surgeon asked the nurse:nurse,get on the internet ,go to surgery.com scroll down and click on the “are you totally lost”?? icon

    2.Only one thing is more powerful then the strength of powerful signals of Wifi and that is Wife eye .At full strength, one of them makes you feel powerful, while the other one shuts you down completely.

    3. Boy kept going to the ophthalmist because his left eye hurt. The eye specialist told boy,’Your eye hurts only when you drink tea. I suggest you can’t drink tea.’
    Boy stuttered, ‘But I love tea with two sugars.’
    The opthalmist said, ‘Okay, then make sure you take the spoon out.

  59. Prisca Pires at | | Reply

    Two women are seated at a restaurant and one of them removes her sunglasses to reveal a very colorful black eye.
    “Wow! How’d ya get the shiner?” her companion asks.
    “From my boyfriend.”
    “But I thought he was out of town.”
    “So did I!”

  60. Mansi Gupta at | | Reply

    Where is the eye located?
    -between the H and the J.

  61. Prutha Pathak at | | Reply

    An optician asks his patient, “When did you last have your eyes checked?”
    The patient replies, “Never, they’ve always been brown.” :p

  62. Parul M at | | Reply

    Little birdie in the sky,
    dropping droppings in my eye.
    I don’t complain, I don’t cry,
    I thank God cows don’t fly.

  63. Prutha Pathak at | | Reply

    A doctor asks the patient, “When did you last get your eyes checked?”
    The patient replies, “Never, they’ve always been brown.” :p

  64. PREKSHA at | | Reply

    What did the right eye say to the left eye?

    Between you and me, there’s something that smells…

  65. juhi Vaswani at | | Reply

    1 Lady says Doctor doctor, I need glasses!
    Definitely ma’am.! This is barber shop.

    2 Have u ever seen rabbit wearing glasses ?but I need candilicious glasses to hog on carrots atleast :p

    P.s I so love candilicious collection of sfxeyewear. Hope to win one.

  66. sone at | | Reply

    In bed ,its 6 am,you close your eyes for 5 minutes…its 7:45 :x
    At work its 3:00 pm,you close your eyes for 5 minutes …its 3:01 :P

  67. Roshni Devi at | | Reply

    What did the shipmate say to his blind captain?
    Eye-eye Captain!
    (oh god, i love making these up!)

  68. Milonee at | | Reply

    Love at first SIGHT can be cured by a second LOOK.

  69. Saroj at | | Reply

    If u have one eye on yesterday and one eye on tomorrow you are going to be cockeyed today

  70. Kiran at | | Reply

    At the eye doctor ….. Doctor – please read the lowest line you can . Me- Made in China

  71. Sonal at | | Reply

    When life gives u lemons , squeeze them in people’s eyes

  72. Panisthi at | | Reply

    I sleep with my glasses put on, simply to see my dreams more clearly

  73. Palak at | | Reply

    A cross eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other , because the pupils do not know who she is looking at.

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